Michael Jordan Wondering Why He Wasn't In NBA Jam

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Vol 45 Issue 29

Wow Factor Added To Corporate Presentation

CHARLOTTE, NC—Sources confirmed that the wow factor—an intangible set of viscerally pleasing features that instill onlookers with a feeling of exhilaration and intense interest—was successfully added to this Thursday’s upcoming PowerPoint presentation.
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Michael Jordan Wondering Why He Wasn't In NBA Jam

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—After finding his old Super Nintendo in a routine cleaning of his attic, basketball great Michael Jordan was stunned to find that he did not appear as a playable character in the 1993 game "NBA Jam" and was at a loss to explain why. "I don't understand. I'm Michael Jordan, I should be in that game," said Jordan who had no success finding his likeness in the Arcade, Sega Genesis, Sega CD, Game Boy or Game Gear versions. "Scottie being there makes sense, but Horace Grant? Seriously? And how can Tom Gugliotta be in this game and not me? I could swear they paid me a $100 million licensing fee." Jordan then popped in a copy of "Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City" and played for ten minutes before tossing the controller on the table and taking a nap.

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