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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Michael Vick Embarrassed After Accidentally Burning Down Lincoln Financial Field

PHILADELPHIA—Newly acquired Eagles quarterback Michael Vick was "humiliated" Tuesday after an iron he had left unattended inside the team's locker room sparked a blaze that eventually burned Lincoln Financial Field to the ground. "I just wanted to press some shirts so I could look nice and make a good impression on the team, but now everybody is going to hate me," said Vick, choking back tears as he surveyed the still smoldering remains of the $518 million stadium. "I didn't mean to do it. I tried really hard to put out the fire, but when I smothered the flames they just got bigger and everything started burning. I'm super sorry. I promise it won't happen again." Vick, who said he did not notify police or the fire department because it would violate the conditions of his reinstatement, added that the stadium might be fine once it cools down.

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