adBlockCheck

Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News

Michael Vick: 'I Also Ate Kittens'

RICHMOND, VA—In yet another installment in his series of recent confessional and contrite televised press conferences, suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick apologized to his fans, teammates, and the National Football League on Wednesday for devouring the living flesh of four-to-eight-week-old kittens. "I did not by any means eat kittens for every meal, but I cannot deny I ate them," said Vick, saying he felt that although this was not necessarily the best time, he should just come clean. "Kittens just taste really good, as their meat is lean, yet tender and surprisingly juicy. Oh, and eating them is wrong—I know that now, and I am sorry." Vick added that he and unnamed companions would work up such an appetite from a long day of fighting, forcibly breeding, and slaughtering dogs that they could barely contain themselves and would often snap off their furry little heads and suck out the insides before they even left the parking lot, a practice of which he is now "very ashamed."

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings