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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Michele Bachmann Thankful No Americans Died In Sikh Shooting

WASHINGTON—In response to the shooting death of six Sikh worshippers at a temple in Oak Creek, WI yesterday, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) offered a public expression of her thankfulness that no Americans had been killed in the rampage. "It's a relief and a blessing that not a single American died in this event," Bachmann said of the incident that claimed the lives of six Americans who practice the Sikh faith. "All of us can be grateful for that. Had the gunman targeted a church or synagogue, this violent act could have been much, much worse. There's no telling how many Americans might have died." Bachmann concluded by calling on citizens nationwide to direct all their thoughts and prayers to the family of wounded police lieutenant Brian Murphy, who was shot multiple times while rushing to help victims.

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