Microwave-Resistant Potato Alarms Scientists

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Vol 41 Issue 37

Terrell Owens Pre-Emptively Disparages Next Contract

PHILADELPHIA—Eagles wideout Terrell Owens, who recently returned to his team after a training-camp holdout on the second year of his seven-year, $49 million contract, took time Monday to verbally blast the amount, duration, and bonuses of whatever contract he signs next.

Katrina Reporters "Lost It"

American viewers witnessed reporters becoming unusually emotional on camera while reporting on Hurricane Katrina, raising questions about appropriate...

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Microwave-Resistant Potato Alarms Scientists

BOISE, ID—Tuber researchers from the Western Root Vegetable Institute reported Monday that they have discovered a strain of microwave-resistant potatoes. "Natural and commercial selection has resulted in strains of potatoes that just won't nuke up," said Dr. Bernard Anderson, standing in front of a Radarange in which a test potato had been rotating unaltered for 90 minutes. "If this mutation proliferates, it could have disastrous implications for the nation's impatient." The new strain is the most significant potato mutation since the emergence of the "inedible" frying potato, which is still in use at most fast-food chains.
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