adBlockCheck

Recent News

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
End Of Section
  • More News

Middle-Aged Woman Believes In Fourth Marriage, Angels

FORT MYERS, FL—Area resident Beatrice Sewell, 49, affirmed her faith Thursday in both her fourth marriage, to local dockworker Davey Sewell, 54, and the existence and compassion of angels. "I feel my own guardian angel watching over me all the time," said Sewell, an avid collector of angel-decorated potholders and wall hangings. "And I just know that David is the man for me, now and forever." Phenomena Sewell has previously expressed belief in include crystal therapy, phone psychics and her first three marriages.

More from this section

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close