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Midwestern Tornado Destroys 4 World's Largest Objects

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Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels

LEVEL 5—A group of video game henchmen patrolling the warehouse hideout of their criminal mastermind boss informed reporters Wednesday of their upcoming plan to take a brief break from making their rounds to meet up around a stack of five highly explosive barrels.

Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On

BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.

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With millions of people opting to use online dating sites to meet new potential romantic partners, many are wondering how computer algorithms can enhance their chances of finding “the one.” Here are the steps that dating sites take to match compatible users

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In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
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Midwestern Tornado Destroys 4 World's Largest Objects

SAC CITY, IA—A category F4 tornado ravaged large sections of Iowa, Illinois, Minnesota and Wisconsin Sunday, killing 15 people and irreparably damaging four of the world's largest novelty objects, including a prized 150-foot fiberglass muskie and a two-ton bail of hay in Minnesota. "It's horrifying, there are three-foot wide pieces of popcorn ball everywhere," said Midwesterner Emily Roberts, whose garage was leveled when powerful winds dropped Sac City, IA's record-breaking confection onto its roof. "That damn popcorn ball used to be the pride of our city. It's so senseless." Even as volunteers worked tirelessly to clean up debris from the World's Largest Ball of Yarn in Rockford, IL, the city's mayor had already invited Guinness World Records officials to oversee the dedication of the World's Largest Knot.

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