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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Family

Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

Mike Brown Claims He Was Scapegoat For Cavaliers Terrible Coaching

CLEVELAND—In response to his recent firing, former Cavaliers head coach Mike Brown said at a press conference Wednesday that he was unfairly singled out and blamed for the team's horrendous coaching. "I hate to admit it, but they made me a scapegoat for the overall lack of leadership and inability to make in-game adjustments," Brown said. "It didn't seem to matter how hard I worked designing ineffective plays or putting the other team's inferior talent in a position to win, because they were going to make me the fall guy." Brown told reporters that executives in the Cavaliers front office should do some soul-searching and evaluate how their own poor performances led to the hiring of such a shitty-ass coach in the first place.

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