adBlockCheck

Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News

Mike Krzyzewski Leads Ragtag Band Of Rejects To Olympic Gold

LONDON—Defying the odds with a stunning 107-100 upset victory over Spain, hot shot coach Mike Krzyzewski led the hapless misfits on the U.S. men’s basketball team to Olympic gold Sunday, transforming the scraggly bunch of lovable losers into world champions in just one month. "When we started in July, not one of them knew how to shoot a free throw, Kevin [Durant] couldn’t even dribble a basketball without using both hands, and there wasn't a single player capable of passing, but they've really come a long way," said Krzyzewski, who reportedly made a breakthrough right before the team's first game when he finally taught the freaks, washouts, and spazzes to believe in themselves. "Sure they may be dorky, weird-looking, or unpopular, but we showed the Spanish what a team of really great friends can accomplish with hard work, a whole lot of heart, and a little luck." Krzyzewski said he now plans to go to Durham, NC, where he will try to guide the bumbling squad of dickheads on the Duke Blue Devils team to an improbable NCAA championship.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings