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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Mike Lupica Uses Final Thought On Sports Reporters To Ask About His Missing Dog

NEW YORK—Sportswriter and pundit Mike Lupica, a regular panelist on ESPN's The Sports Reporters, used the time given him during the "Parting Shot" segment of last Sunday's show to alert the television audience to the recent disappearance of his beagle-Dachshund mix. "Our love of dogs, like our love of sports, has the power to bring us together despite our differences," Lupica said, holding a recent photo of his dog up to the camera. "Whether you agree with everything I say or not, I implore anyone out there who may have seen Puppica to please contact me care of ESPN or the Daily News. I can't answer all your letters, but I promise I will give them all consideration. He's wearing a blue collar and likes to fetch grounders. Thank you." Immediately after Lupica's monologue, Stephen A. Smith used his allotted "Parting Shot" screen time to point out that none of his many dogs, who "obviously loved [him] more than Lupica's dog loved his owner," had "ever, ever run away, and quite frankly, never would."

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