Mike McCarthy

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Vol 47 Issue 05

Tom Becker's Testimony

The Supreme Court recently ruled that the First Amendment no longer applied to idiotic blowhard, Tom Becker.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Innovation

Mike McCarthy

STRENGTHS: Never-ending source of thrilling sound bites such as "We'll address that after the Super Bowl," "That's a nonissue for us," and "We're just here to play football"; known for wild offensive trickery such as the "fake handoff" and "wide-receiver screen pass"; carefully scripts touchdowns for first 15 plays

WEAKNESSES: Relies on an entirely different guy to do most his defense; becoming the next Norv Turner is still perfectly within his reach; calls several dozens plays a game and can't once call his mother?

COACHING PHILOSOPHY: Balances offense with mix of brilliant plays and boneheaded calls

CONTROVERSY: Got pretty fired up during the Favre controversy with a now infamous outburst of "Dang it all!" during a press conference

ENJOYS: Hiding face behind laminated play sheet and then popping up and yelling “peekaboo” to entertain younger Packers

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