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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Military-Industrial Complex Recalls Coming Together In Aftermath Of 9/11

WASHINGTON—Marveling at how the government and defense contractors united in response to the tragic events, leaders of the nation’s military-industrial complex on Monday recalled coming together in the aftermath of the 9/11 terror attacks. “In the wake of the horrific tragedy, we knew we had to join together behind a single purpose,” said Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenburg, recounting the days after the September 11 attacks in which weapons manufacturers and the nation’s armed forces fortified an alliance to further the cause of military interventions around the world. “We knew there would be difficult times ahead, but we worked side by side to advocate for an aggressive wartime doctrine and massively increased defense spending. It’s a small consolation, but an unprecedented tragedy brought the military-industrial complex closer together and inevitably made us stronger than ever before.” At press time, Muilenburg told reporters that the nation’s military-industrial complex was rallying once again to create new defense contracts around a possible U.S. military response to North Korea’s nuclear program.

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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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