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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Militia Leader Sentenced To 6 Months’ Probation For War Misdemeanors

THE HAGUE—Following his 15-minute appearance today before the Civil Ordinance division of the International Criminal Court, Mai Mai Kata Katanga militia leader Emile Kyenge was sentenced to six months’ probation for several war misdemeanors committed in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, sources confirmed. “Mr. Kyenge’s crimes against the community, from trespassing on private land during nighttime raids to torching entire villages without a burn permit, have been a disruption to public order,” said Chief Prosecutor Fatou Bensouda, adding that Kyenge has previously appeared before the tribunal for littering public grounds with the bones of his enemies, failing to pay taxes on sales of captive women, and allowing child soldiers to sit in his armored vehicle’s front seat. “In light of the damage he has caused, Mr. Kyenge will be required to complete 30 hours of community service and submit a letter to the tribunal apologizing for his actions. He will also be levied the standard fine of $250, as well as the $50 International Criminal Court processing fee.” Bensouda added that under the terms of Kyenge’s probation, the rebel warlord must henceforth inform the court whenever he leaves the state of Katanga to massacre civilians.

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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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