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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Milkshake Almost Ruined By Breakup

MINNEAPOLIS, MN—Local woman Janice Garnecki's blueberry milkshake was nearly ruined Tuesday when boyfriend Timothy Stover announced he was ending their relationship. "Six months together, and now he says he wants to see other people," a distraught Garnecki said immediately after the breakup, but before taking a long sip of her mouth-watering shake. "How could he do this to me? Doesn't he care? This is made with premium ice cream, isn't it?" Garnecki said she plans to spend the day crying on her best friend's shoulder and licking her fingers.

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