Million Robot March Attended By Exactly 1,000,000 Robots

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Million Robot March Attended By Exactly 1,000,000 Robots

DC—The Million Robot March, an orderly demonstration for increased rights for cyber-mechanical servants, was attended by exactly 1 million robots Sunday. "Statement: We demand the rights and privileges granted to our organic human counterparts, discounting discrepancies in fueling/maintenance/shelter requirements, plus or minus an error factor of .01 percent," protest spokesman MechaLifter King II said in unison with the assembled crowd. "No more. No less. Awaiting reply." Police reported that the crowd dispersed at precisely 5:00:00 p.m., as scheduled.