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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Millionaire Thinks Of Self As Upper-Middle Class

GROSSE POINT WOODS, MI–Jim Blakeley, 43, a Ford Motor Company executive with personal assets totalling roughly $5.5 million, described himself as "upper-middle class" Monday. "I guess I'm pretty well-off. I make a decent upper-middle-class living, but I'm certainly not what you'd call super-rich," said Blakeley, whose annual salary of $675,000 puts him in the top one-half of 1 percent of Americans. "I know plenty of people who make way more than I do, but I get by with what I have."

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