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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

The Onion’s Fall TV Preview

Networks are just weeks away from debuting their Fall lineups, featuring both new shows and returning favorites. The Onion breaks down what to watch this Fall.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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Millions Of Human Beings Experiencing Actual Emotions About J.J. Abrams Directing 'Star Wars'

NEW YORK—Following reports that J.J. Abrams will be directing the forthcoming Star Wars: Episode VII, sources confirmed today that millions of actual human beings are experiencing genuine psychological and physiological responses to the news. “Evidence suggests that there are currently multiple people existing in the world who are compelled, for some reason, to think and even speak to others about this subject, as though it were some sort of biological imperative,” said NYU sociology professor Dr. Herbert Winslow, who went on to explain that several of these humans are even displaying visible signs of demonstrable emotions such as anger, joy, and disappointment over the Star Trek director’s involvement in the film series. “We can also safely assume that this very same subsection of humans is, at this moment, feeling a more tangible connection to news related to this film series than they ever have about such subjects as the economy, international strife and poverty, or even their own friends and family.” Winslow went on to confirm the existence of several human beings even willing to read actual blocks of text such as this discussing J.J. Abrams and Star Wars.

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