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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record

Forty years ago this week, NASA launched Voyager 2, which carries a gold-plated record featuring pictures and sounds from Earth as well as scientific information, all of which was carefully compiled in anticipation of a possible extraterrestrial encounter. Here are the contents of the record:
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Miracle Dog Gives Birth To Septuplets

ROANOKE, VA—The media-dubbed "Roanoke miracle dog," who goes only by the name "Ginger," has seven brand-new reasons to be overjoyed after giving birth to septuplets Saturday. Ginger, who without resorting to fertility drugs has been blessed twice before with quintuplets and nonuplets, welcomed her new ones into the world without any complications, despite having no assistance in the birthing process. Even more remarkable, Ginger is over 12 years old. "The birth of one puppy is a miracle in itself," said family vet Dr. Martha Davis. "To experience this wonder sevenfold is truly a gift from God." After spending a few days alone with their happy mommy, three of the puppies were given away to strangers and four were drowned in a bucket, because they were of a mixed breed and Ginger's owner wanted full Doxies.

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