Misbuttoned Coat Makes Perfectly Sane Woman Look Like Raving Lunatic

In This Section

Vol 45 Issue 19

NASA Running Out Of Fuel

NASA is running short of plutonium-238, the fuel needed in deep space missions, because nuclear warhead production has slowed dramatically since the...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Entertainment

Misbuttoned Coat Makes Perfectly Sane Woman Look Like Raving Lunatic

SEATTLE—After improperly buttoning her Gap wool-blend peacoat Monday morning, leaving 6 inches of excess material flapping down by her left leg, Hillary Wagner, 26, was transformed from a typical sane-looking woman into a shrieking asymmetrical loon. Wagner, a claims adjuster, reportedly did not notice her mistake before greeting coworkers, offering what was intended as a friendly "hi" but was, due to the visible bulge around her midsection, viewed as an attack. "My first thought after seeing her was, 'Who is this psychotic street person roaming around the office? Has society collapsed?'" boss Bob Waksberg said of his encounter with the half-crazed derelict. Fellow employees reported seeing a waxy red substance on Wagner's teeth, possible evidence that the maniac had just used her canines to rip out the jugular vein of another human being.

Jump to next story

Onion Video

Watch More