adBlockCheck

Local

Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Missing Boy Scout Earns Publicity Badge

KAMAS, UT—Boy Scout Brennan Hawkins, 11, who received national media coverage after he wandered off during his troop's June camping trip in the Utah mountains, was awarded a merit badge for publicity Monday. "Brennan was successfully mentioned on every major network during all news cycles, and succeeded in increasing public perception of both himself and the Boy Scouts," said Scout leader Troy Feyton. "I am proud to award him this rare merit badge, and pray he returns to us safe and sound once he has completed the talk-show circuit." Feyton confirmed that Boy Scout officials have revoked Hawkins' navigation, orienteering, and wilderness-survival merit badges.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close