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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Missing Girl's Family Really Hates To Part With Reward

BAKERSFIELD, CA—Although abducted 8-year-old Becca Schwalls has been safely returned to her family, her parents are "sort of having second thoughts" about the $25,000 reward they offered following her July 11 disappearance. "That's kind of a lot of money," father Karl Schwalls said. "That was going to be our ATV fund... I'm thinking five grand is fair." Schwalls added that, although he is "overjoyed" to have Becca back safe and sound, he has always taught her that "a good deed is its own reward."

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