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Red Roof Inn Announces New Suicidal Suite

In an effort to cater to customers who have lost the will to live, economy hotel chain Red Roof Inn officially unveiled Thursday its new Suicidal Suite available at each of their locations across the nation.

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Mitt Romney Jots Down Ideas For Concession Speech While Obama Talks

DENVER—As his opponent Barack Obama responded to a question during Wednesday night’s presidential debate on domestic policy, Republican nominee Mitt Romney reportedly took a few moments to scribble down some ideas for points to hit during his upcoming Nov. 6 concession speech. “It’s been a long journey, never stop fighting, etc., deeply grateful to all of those who stood by me and fought with me (fill in later),” wrote Romney, underlining the phrase “my wife, Ann” several times and using an entire page to list colleagues he would thank for their tireless efforts. “Maybe close with something about standing by the president even if I don’t agree with all his policies, he cares about America as much as I do—too cliché? Run it by Matt. Blue shirt, red tie.” Having written out his thoughts, Mr. Romney then looked up from the podium and stated that he did not agree with President Obama’s answer.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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