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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Mitt Romney Reaches Out To Young Voters With Laser Tag Pizza Party

MANCHESTER, NH—Seeking new ways to appeal to the 18-to-29-year-old electorate, Mitt Romney hosted the first of several planned “Rockin’ Romney Friday Nite GOPizza Parties” at a local amusement center, featuring laser tag, rock and roll music, and free pepperoni pizza for every eligible voter. “Hey, gang, come grab a slice of pizza and play all the games you want!” the 65-year-old candidate shouted while handing out video game tokens and Romney 2012 lick-and-stick tattoos. “Get yourself a root beer, too. And have fun! But no horseplay, okay?” Attendee Bradley Stafford, 27, stated that while he personally had no objection to the offering of laser tag, he would have preferred a discussion of policies that might help his family keep its home out of foreclosure, as well as some diet soda options.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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