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Politics

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Mitt Romney Soars In Polls After Leaving Country

WASHINGTON—According to a newly released USA Today/Gallup poll, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney's favorability has surged to 64 percent since he left the country Wednesday for a three-nation overseas trip. "Once Gov. Romney was no longer within the borders of the United States and was instead many thousands of miles away from American voters, his popularity immediately spiked across almost all demographics," said political analyst Mark Halperin, noting that the electorate has been invigorated by Romney's complete absence from campaign events, rallies, and town hall meetings. "It seems that the farther away Romney travels, the more people like him. By the time his plane touches down in Israel, I wouldn't be surprised if his favorability rating isn't somewhere in the high 70s." Experts were quick to note the number remains well below Romney’s historical high of 89 percent, reached in February 2008 when the former Massachusetts governor announced his withdrawal from that year's presidential race.

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