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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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MLB Adopts New 'Four Strikes And You're Back In' Steroid Policy

MILWAUKEE—Facing pressure from the public and the players' union, Major League Baseball announced Monday that they would institute a new steroid policy designed to eliminate performance-enhancing drugs in baseball while granting a third second chance to players who truly demonstrate a desire to play baseball at any cost. Under the league's new guidelines, players will be suspended for 50 games after a first offense, suspended for 100 games after the second, banned for life after their third, and finally reinstated after their fourth conclusive positive test for performance-enhancing drugs. "Although we cannot tolerate serial infractions of our steroid policy, we cannot unfairly penalize those who use steroids to get back into the game," said Commissioner Bud Selig, who has described the new policy as "fair for all parties, especially those who cannot play the game well without the aid of illegal substances." "Continuing to artificially enhance your body and chemically optimize your performance—even after a permanent suspension—shows the kind of dedication that warrants one last chance at redemption." Selig added that, to ensure this ruling does not tarnish the integrity of the game by putting anything less than top-caliber athletes back on the field, all players facing reinstatement must pass a thorough and extremely demanding test of physical fitness and raw aggression.
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