adBlockCheck

MLB Announces Acceptable 2007 World Series Matchups

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Television

Surprises

  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

    DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

MLB Announces Acceptable 2007 World Series Matchups

MILWAUKEE—Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig announced the acceptable matchups for the 2007 World Series yesterday, insisting that the Fall Classic would exclusively feature one of six interesting, crowd-please scenarios. "Yankees-Cubs, Red Sox-Cubs, Yankees-Dodgers, Red Sox-Dodgers, Red Sox-Mets," Selig said, noting that, in addition, any underdog team from the National League is acceptable as long as they play against the Yankees or Red Sox. "Tigers-Mets will be allowed with the provision that Kenny Rogers does something illegal, but under no circumstance will the Cardinals be allowed to repeat." Selig added that Yankees-Mets and White Sox-Cubs are no longer an option, as those types of monumental, once-in-a-lifetime match ups have forever been ruined by interleague play.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close