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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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MLB Announces Acceptable 2007 World Series Matchups

MILWAUKEE—Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig announced the acceptable matchups for the 2007 World Series yesterday, insisting that the Fall Classic would exclusively feature one of six interesting, crowd-please scenarios. "Yankees-Cubs, Red Sox-Cubs, Yankees-Dodgers, Red Sox-Dodgers, Red Sox-Mets," Selig said, noting that, in addition, any underdog team from the National League is acceptable as long as they play against the Yankees or Red Sox. "Tigers-Mets will be allowed with the provision that Kenny Rogers does something illegal, but under no circumstance will the Cardinals be allowed to repeat." Selig added that Yankees-Mets and White Sox-Cubs are no longer an option, as those types of monumental, once-in-a-lifetime match ups have forever been ruined by interleague play.

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