Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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MLB Recommends Teams Limit Amount Of Screen Time For Rookies

NEW YORK—Citing the numerous studies linking the overuse of electronic devices to stunted development, the MLB reportedly sent a memo to all 30 teams Tuesday that recommended limiting the amount of screen time for rookies. “During that incredibly important first year, coaches should ideally prohibit players from spending more than two hours per day in front of computers, phones, and TVs,” read the memo authored by MLB medical director Dr. Gary Green, warning that excessive screen time could have significant consequences for rookies’ physical fitness, concentration at the plate, and ability to socialize with teammates. “Although it’s easy and convenient to simply sit rookies down with an iPad or in front of the clubhouse TV to keep them occupied, teams need to realize that these players are still at a precarious place in their cognitive, physical, and emotional development. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, rookies’ screen time should be mostly dedicated to high-quality programming, such as tape of opposing pitchers. Ultimately, it’s up to teams to make smart decisions that will benefit their rookies’ long-term growth.” The memo also recommended that coaches designate screen-free times for the whole team, such as group dinners or while in bed at the team hotel.

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