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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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MLB To Have Four More Opening Days This Season

MILWAUKEE—MLB commissioner Bud Selig announced Tuesday that, due to the success of last week's Japan Opening Day, Sunday's "Opening Night," and Monday's U.S. Opening Day, baseball would be holding several additional Opening Days throughout the course of the 2008 season. "There's nothing better than the childlike joy and renewed passion for baseball elicited by Opening Day," Selig said, "so why not continue having them periodically throughout the season?" In the coming months, MLB will celebrate "Opening Day Canada," the first Toronto Blue Jays home game; "Opening May," the first game played in the month of May; "Opening Day Curt Schilling," Curt Schilling's first game back from the DL; and "Opening Day," a game on Aug. 16 between the Cubs and the Marlins. Tickets are available starting at $150.

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