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The Week In Sports

OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.
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MLB Umpires Admit Pitchers Throw Way Too Fast To Actually See Ball

NEW YORK—Describing the task of calling balls and strikes as mostly guesswork, MLB umpires admitted Thursday that pitchers throw way too fast for them to actually see the ball. “The ball is pretty small and it’s moving really quickly, so even when I’m watching super closely, it’s still impossible to tell,” said home plate umpire Scott Glennon, who further echoed the sentiments expressed by most of his colleagues by adding that pitches like sliders and curveballs move all over the place, making it even harder to tell what happened. “It’s good when the catcher reaches really far away from the plate so I know that it’s probably a ball, or if the batter swings and misses so I don’t have to pretend I knew where the ball went. Otherwise I just have to signal real emphatically to convince everyone I saw it.” Glennon also admitted that, like most of the league’s umps, he simply alternates back and forth between calling “safe” and “out” for every close play at the plate.

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New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

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