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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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MLB Unsure Why It Ever Agreed To Hold League-Wide 'Teeny Tiny Boy Shorts Day'

NEW YORK—Major League Baseball released a statement Tuesday admitting that nobody in its offices was quite sure why the organization agreed to allow all of Monday’s games to be themed "Teeny Tiny Boy Shorts Day." "With all the players, fans, and mascots wearing teeny tiny boy shorts, it’s clear the day was very well organized and thought out, but to be quite honest, nobody here has more than the vaguest of memories about agreeing to something like this," Commissioner Bud Selig said in the statement, clarifying that the league was not upset about seeing all its athletes and managers don teeny tiny boy shorts for an evening, but it was confused. "A few people in marketing believe Monday’s action may have originally been planned as a day to raise awareness for a cancer of some kind, and then this kernel of an idea somehow got a little out of hand and wound up with a lot of players unfortunately scraping up their thighs by sliding in those teeny tiny boy shorts." As of press time, MLB.com had updated its calendar to list July 14 as "Sparkly Shoes and Spunky Little Hat Day."

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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