adBlockCheck

MLB Unsure Why It Ever Agreed To Hold League-Wide 'Teeny Tiny Boy Shorts Day'

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

MLB Unsure Why It Ever Agreed To Hold League-Wide 'Teeny Tiny Boy Shorts Day'

NEW YORK—Major League Baseball released a statement Tuesday admitting that nobody in its offices was quite sure why the organization agreed to allow all of Monday’s games to be themed "Teeny Tiny Boy Shorts Day." "With all the players, fans, and mascots wearing teeny tiny boy shorts, it’s clear the day was very well organized and thought out, but to be quite honest, nobody here has more than the vaguest of memories about agreeing to something like this," Commissioner Bud Selig said in the statement, clarifying that the league was not upset about seeing all its athletes and managers don teeny tiny boy shorts for an evening, but it was confused. "A few people in marketing believe Monday’s action may have originally been planned as a day to raise awareness for a cancer of some kind, and then this kernel of an idea somehow got a little out of hand and wound up with a lot of players unfortunately scraping up their thighs by sliding in those teeny tiny boy shorts." As of press time, MLB.com had updated its calendar to list July 14 as "Sparkly Shoes and Spunky Little Hat Day."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close