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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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MLB.com Executive Casually Reminds Harold Reynolds Not To Sexually Harass Anyone

CLEVELAND—MLB.com programming executive Martin Fried reminded recently hired baseball analyst Harold Reynolds in a matter-of-fact manner Monday that Reynolds should take care not to sexually harass anyone at any point before, during, or after his Game 3 coverage of the American League Championship Series. "Ah, Harold, just wanted to remind you to keep a close eye on how David Ortiz's knee is holding up, and that you probably shouldn't try to get that Grady Sizemore interview too close to game time or, say, sexually harass the new female production assistant. And, oh yeah, most important, remember to monitor Mike Timlin's pitch count—could be an interesting development," the e-mail to the former ESPN anchor read in part. "Basically, have fun, just be natural up there, and don't do anything I wouldn't do. Seriously, don't. Thanks." Reynolds was unavailable for comment, but according to his e-mail records, he has received similar reminders every day since he began working for MLB.com in July.

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