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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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MLB.com Executive Casually Reminds Harold Reynolds Not To Sexually Harass Anyone

CLEVELAND—MLB.com programming executive Martin Fried reminded recently hired baseball analyst Harold Reynolds in a matter-of-fact manner Monday that Reynolds should take care not to sexually harass anyone at any point before, during, or after his Game 3 coverage of the American League Championship Series. "Ah, Harold, just wanted to remind you to keep a close eye on how David Ortiz's knee is holding up, and that you probably shouldn't try to get that Grady Sizemore interview too close to game time or, say, sexually harass the new female production assistant. And, oh yeah, most important, remember to monitor Mike Timlin's pitch count—could be an interesting development," the e-mail to the former ESPN anchor read in part. "Basically, have fun, just be natural up there, and don't do anything I wouldn't do. Seriously, don't. Thanks." Reynolds was unavailable for comment, but according to his e-mail records, he has received similar reminders every day since he began working for MLB.com in July.

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