The Health and Human Services says that the country's Shawnas are "tan enough."
DALLASCarlos Ruiz, a veteran forward who has played the last three years with Major League Soccer's FC Dallas, has announced that he will hold out on any contract offer that does not include some mention of monetary compensation. "I realize that [soccer] in America is still in its infancy, and I do appreciate the free socks, orange slices, and Powerade," Ruiz said of the 10-year-old MLS's hesitancy to offer him cash in return for his services as a player. "But I no longer want to be sleeping on fans' couches, hitchhiking to and from games, and finding people to buy me a meal every now and then. That's fine for rookies, but I've proven myself on the field, and I think that's worth a few thousand bucks a year." FC Dallas has asked the league to intervene, saying that actually paying Ruiz with money would put them over the $1.2 thousand MLS salary cap.