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Who's Fucking: Zack and Evan

Coworkers Zack and Evan talk about moving past first impressions, stepping out of your comfort zone, and understanding what it really means to fuck someone.

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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MMA Fighter Unfortunately Discovers True Love For First Time On Morning Of Big Fight

TERRE HAUTE, IN—In an unfortunate instance of ill-timing, mixed martial artist Pat Schrode finally discovered the feeling of true, unrequited love Saturday morning just hours before his fight with Kyle Hendrix. "You ask if I’m ready? I feel ready for so many things—I'm ready to love and be loved, I'm ready to be a father, I'm ready to trust somebody so much it literally pains me to think about life without them," Schrode said in a pre-fight interview, pausing momentarily to grab the hands of several reporters and "take in the moment." "I'm not worried about winning or losing. Think of what we could accomplish if we weren't so worried about winning everything and instead focused on being—being together. That's the kind of champion I hope to become." Hendrix won Saturday's bout with a 27-second knockout, in the process breaking Schrode's orbital bone, collapsing his lung, and displacing a disk in the love-struck fighter's neck.

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