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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Mohamed Sanu Very Disappointed To Discover Second Call From Bengals Not A Prank

CINCINNATI—New Bengals wide receiver Mohamed Sanu told reporters last week he had been "desperately relieved" to find out a phone call notifying him that Cincinnati had drafted him was a prank, but was later dejected when actual team representatives called to use a pick on him. "I have to admit, it was pretty funny when that kid told me the Bengals were drafting me in the first round, especially when I realized it was a joke," said Sanu, confirming the prankster "really had me going." "But the Bengals calling to say their disaster of a team actually was drafting me, just for a lot less money? What kind of sick human being does that?" Though acknowledging he cried when he first put on his Cincinnati jersey and realized he would be wasting away his youth playing for the Bengals, Sanu took solace in the fact that NFL careers are generally short and his dream of playing pro football would be over soon enough.

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