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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Mom Breaks Into Son’s Apartment At Night To Administer 2013 Flu Vaccine

EXETER, RI—After leaving multiple phone and email messages reminding her son Josh, 28, to schedule an appointment with his doctor for his seasonal flu shot, area mom Kathleen Warner broke into his apartment in the dead of night Sunday and administered the 2013 flu vaccine herself, sources reported. “I warned you,” the 58-year-old woman reportedly whispered to her son through a black ski mask as she flicked the tip of the needle, pumped the syringe two times, and jabbed it into his arm. “I told you to schedule an appointment with your primary care physician. I even sent you a list of local flu clinics in your area. But you wouldn’t listen. Now we’re doing things my way.” Sources confirmed that after administering the vaccine and exiting her son’s room, Warner quickly tidied up the bathroom before slipping out the back door.

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