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Dinner

Mom Has Stacked Dinner Party Roster

GOLDEN, CO—Their eyes widening in amazement as the 43-year-old rattled off the names of heavy hitter after heavy hitter, impressed members of the Dreeshen household confirmed Friday that the roster for their mom’s upcoming dinner party was absolutely stacked.

Grin Slowly Spreads Across Mom’s Face As Meal Revealed To Contain Healthy Ingredients

‘The Mashed Potatoes Are Actually Made With Cauliflower,’ She Announces

VERONA, WI—Having waited until everyone at the table had finished their dinner Monday, a knowing grin reportedly spread across local mother Angela Hopkins’ face as she announced to her family that the mashed potatoes had in fact been made using cauliflower as a healthier alternative.
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Dinner

Mom Holds Knife To Throat Of Dinner Guest Who Offered To Help With Dishes

TOLLAND, CT—Responding with lightning-quick reflexes to her dinner guest’s proposal, area mother Linda McGregor reportedly grabbed a 10-inch chef’s knife Thursday night and held it up to the throat of family friend Diane Wallace following her offer to help with the dishes. “Say one more thing about clearing the table or putting the dishes in the dishwasher, Diane, and I’ll gut you like a fish,” said the 56-year-old, intently staring into Wallace’s eyes as she pressed the blade just firmly enough against the woman’s neck for it to draw a single bead of blood. “Pour yourself another glass of red wine and just forget all about these dirty plates, the used silverware, or any of the pots and pans. Because if you even so much as step foot in the kitchen while I’m cleaning up, the next thing you’ll see—the last thing you’ll see—is me slicing you open from head to toe. Got it?” Sources confirmed McGregor later plunged the knife deep into her husband’s chest when he asked her if she would leave the dishes for later and join the rest of the party for a game of Scattergories.

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