adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
End Of Section
  • More News

Mom Loved ‘Fruitvale Station’

CINCINNATI—Saying that “oh, I just thought it was so powerful” and “Dad loved it too,” local mom Deborah Ward informed family sources this week that she loved the film Fruitvale Station. “It was so sad, but so, you know, well-made, and the acting was just—I mean, I cried,” said Ward of the film, which reenacts the final hours of 22-year-old Oscar Grant’s life before he was tragically killed by a BART police officer, and which the 57-year-old mother of two confirmed is “based on a real story that happened.” “And the main actor in it is just wonderful. He’s almost sort of like a young Denzel Washington type. He’s very handsome, too. You really feel bad for him and his daughter.” Ward added that “I’m seeing it again with Audrey on Friday.”

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close