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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Mom On Vacation Marveling At Time Difference Compared To Home

SAN DIEGO—Having already pointed out when everyone back home was getting off work and when the local nightly news was starting, area mother Pam Westin spent much of the first day of her family’s week-long California vacation marveling at the time difference compared to where they lived, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Wow, we’re just sitting down for dinner here, but back in Hartford it’s already 9:30,” said Westin, who reportedly added that if they were at the family’s primary residence, they would have eaten their meal and finished washing all the dishes hours ago. “If we weren’t on vacation right now, we’d start getting ready for bed pretty soon. Meanwhile, it’s still nice and sunny here.” At press time, Westin was heard listing off the different grocery stores they had in California compared to Connecticut.

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