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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Mom Wants To Know If You’ll Be Free If She Visits 14 Months From Now

JANESVILLE, WI—Expressing her excitement to be shown around where you live and work, your mother reportedly called you Thursday to see if you would be free if she came to visit 14 months from now. “Would the weekend of May 19 work for you?” said your mom of a three-day period in late spring 2017, adding that she needed to know if you had any conflicts on the dates 60 weeks in the future before she booked her ticket. “If you’re busy those days, I’m happy to visit later on—maybe the first week of next June? Whatever works best for you.” Your mother then reportedly informed you that she or your father would be able to pick you up from the airport on Wednesday, November 23 if you come home for Thanksgiving this year.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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