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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Mom Wants One Of Those Things Your Sister Has For Christmas

​CHICAGO—Noting that your sibling always mentions that she really likes hers and uses it all the time, your mother confirmed Thursday that she wants one of those things your sister has for Christmas. “Oh, I don’t need much—you could just get me that thing your sister got a while back,” said Mom, adding that she thinks you can buy them from Target, but if you can’t find them there, they’ll probably have them at the mall or maybe on the internet. “Just tell your sister it’s the thing she showed me when we came over for dinner. I said I thought it was neat. She’ll know what you’re talking about.” At press time, Mom added that if the thing was unavailable, a gift certificate for that one place you went to once would also be nice.

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