adBlockCheck

Recent News

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.
End Of Section
  • More News

Mongol Hordes Sack U.S.

An estimated $800 billion in damage was caused Monday when a horde of bloodthirsty Mongols sacked and pillaged the U.S. The horse-mounted Mongol warriors, operating from a stronghold in the Canadian wilderness, moved in from the north and plundered U.S. riches, sweeping as far south as Oklahoma before making their way back across the border. President Clinton is calling for the construction of a national moat to prevent future attacks.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close