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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Months Of Painstaking Practice Critiquing Celebrity Fashion Comes Down To This For Area Woman

RIO RANCHO, NM—Leaning in anxiously toward her television Sunday as the 86th Academy Awards pre-show coverage began, 36-year-old Rachel Kohls told reporters that her past 12 months of rigorous and painstaking practice critiquing celebrity fashion has all come down to this night. “Everything I’ve done over the past year—the countless hours spent poring over fashion blogs and scrutinizing celebrity gossip magazines—it’s all been in preparation for this moment,” said Kohls, who, after delivering a solid criticism of Sandra Bullock’s color-block Prabal Gurung dress at this year’s Golden Globes, admitted she was going into tonight’s awards show with confidence in her ability to mete out discerning praise or condemnation of the style choices of Hollywood’s elite. “There is so much to take into account for a proper assessment: the gown’s designer, its cut, whether the fabric and color are flattering, hair, makeup, accessories, whether or not the actress is taking a risk or departing from her signature style. It’s tremendous pressure, but after putting in so much time training, I think I’m ready for whatever dazzling ensembles or cringe-worthy fashion disasters come down that red carpet.” After taking a deep breath and telling reporters “it’s showtime,” Kohls was overheard inquiring whether the first actress to arrive at the Dolby Theatre realized this was the goddamn Oscars and not her junior prom.

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