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Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.
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Monument Designer To See If Some Other Country Wants To Buy Rejected War Memorial

LEESBURG, VA—Explaining that her design is not necessarily war-specific, Claire Dunham has begun shopping around a rejected memorial she originally created to honor soldiers who lost their lives in the first Gulf War. Dunham told reporters Monday that the monument is suitable for any conflict or skirmish a nation wishes to remember, and can be installed at a park or battle site anywhere in the world. "This is a real nice monument, and it's just sitting here," Dunham said. "The great thing is, it's modular. You can put these pillars as far apart as you need to in order to accommodate a lot of names, or close together to honor a few." Dunham went on to say that there was no reason an interested party couldn't cross out a few words in order to make it an air disaster memorial or a Little League victory statue.

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Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

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