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Morbidly Obese Man Recommends You Read The Hobbit

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Morbidly Obese Man Recommends You Read The Hobbit

PHOENIX—Roy Cordell, a 475-pound science-fiction enthusiast, strongly recommends you read J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, it was learned Monday. "You haven't read The Hobbit?" said Cordell, sweating profusely. "It's the tale of Bilbo Baggins, who is torn from his cozy hobbit hole by a band of rowdy dwarves and taken on a fantastic quest for the dwarves' ancestral treasure, which was stolen by the evil dragon Smaug." Pausing to shove a slice of Pizza Hut Sausage Lover's Pizza into his bearded, gaping maw, Cordell noted that Tolkien was a remarkable man. "He was a professor of languages and knew all about mythology," he said. "His Middle Earth novels truly are a landmark of literature." The humongous Cordell concluded by urging you not to get him started about the computer game Warcraft II: Tides Of Darkness.

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