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Red Roof Inn Announces New Suicidal Suite

In an effort to cater to customers who have lost the will to live, economy hotel chain Red Roof Inn officially unveiled Thursday its new Suicidal Suite available at each of their locations across the nation.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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More Americans Concerned Illegal Immigrants Will Take Their Spot On Couch

LOS ANGELES—According to a Los Angeles Times survey published Tuesday, an increasing number of Americans believe undocumented immigrants pose a threat to their favored spot on the couch, with many expressing concern that illegal aliens are “actively plotting” to take their seat as early as the next time they get up to go to the kitchen or bathroom. “I’ve been sitting on this part of the couch for 40 years, and I’ll be damned if some foreigner thinks he can sit down right here where my father sat, and my grandfather before him,” survey respondent Earl Lockwood of Tulsa, OK said. “I earned this spot.” The poll also found that a majority of Americans support the recently enacted Arizona law requiring immigrants to present proper identification before calling dibs on a particular seat.

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Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

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