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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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More Americans Putting Off Marriage Until Ultimatum

HYATTSVILLE, MD—Noting a generational shift in the way couples choose to build their lives together, the National Center for Health Statistics confirmed this week that a growing number of Americans are delaying marriage until one partner backs the other into a corner and issues an ultimatum. “In the past, a marriage proposal was usually the result of a few months of indirect pressure, but increasingly we’re finding that what convinces a person to tie the knot is a non-negotiable threat to end a years-long relationship,” said NCHS director Charles Rothwell, stating that more individuals are waiting until their partner breaks down in tears and says something along the lines of “I just can’t do this anymore” before asking for their hand in marriage. “Today, the decision to spend your life with someone is frequently made under duress, triggered by the recognition that you will lose this person forever if you don’t say yes to the all-or-nothing choice you have been presented with.” Rothwell added that more often than not, the ultimatums are issued by someone who has just found out yet another close friend from college is getting married.

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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

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