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More On Bosh, Wade And LeBron's New Rules For Basketball

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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More On Bosh, Wade And LeBron's New Rules For Basketball

The Dome brought you the first look at the new rules for basketball, designed by Heat superstars Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade and LeBron James who were reportedly "sick of playing basketball the stupid way." But while they've gotten a lot of buzz for replacing shot clocks with strobe lights, putting lions in luxury boxes and making every team eat a whole pizza at halftime, the new rules go further than that.

The Onion Sports Network obtained the original proposal sent to the NBA and immediately ratified by commissioner David Stern who still has not bothered to read them. Check out more of the new rules, written by Bosh, Wade and James, and illustrated by Bosh.

Bosh came up with Rule 8, which allows for the use of ziplines players can ride right to the basket, after learning that rocket shoes were not feasible.

For the handful of teams that weren't disbanded because they sucked or had a stupid logo Lebron didn't like, their best chance of making the postseason is to find the buried treasure chest on Slam Dunk Island that's worth 20 wins and an automatic playoff bid.

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