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Grievances Brought Up With Powerless Supervisor

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Fed up with an increasing workload and problems with his coworkers at CLG Software, project coordinator William Garsten reportedly took a list of grievances Wednesday to supervisor Todd Watkins, a middle manager utterly powerless to...

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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More On Bosh, Wade And LeBron's New Rules For Basketball

The Dome brought you the first look at the new rules for basketball, designed by Heat superstars Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade and LeBron James who were reportedly "sick of playing basketball the stupid way." But while they've gotten a lot of buzz for replacing shot clocks with strobe lights, putting lions in luxury boxes and making every team eat a whole pizza at halftime, the new rules go further than that.

The Onion Sports Network obtained the original proposal sent to the NBA and immediately ratified by commissioner David Stern who still has not bothered to read them. Check out more of the new rules, written by Bosh, Wade and James, and illustrated by Bosh.

Bosh came up with Rule 8, which allows for the use of ziplines players can ride right to the basket, after learning that rocket shoes were not feasible.

For the handful of teams that weren't disbanded because they sucked or had a stupid logo Lebron didn't like, their best chance of making the postseason is to find the buried treasure chest on Slam Dunk Island that's worth 20 wins and an automatic playoff bid.

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