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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Mosquitoes Don't Even Need To Bite Us, Study Shows

MINNEAPOLIS—According to a study published Friday by researchers at the University of Minnesota, mosquitoes have no physiological reason to bite humans, and in fact do so only out of spite. "For years, entomologists assumed members of the Culicidae family drew blood for sustenance, but as it turns out, they feed almost exclusively on pollen," said study author Dr. Robert Benenson, who explained the sociopathic insects either spit out human blood immediately after they bite, or else carry it from person to person, gratuitously killing millions as they spread diseases like malaria and dengue fever. "While there is literally zero biological necessity for their bloodsucking behavior, mosquitoes enjoy putting a damper on our outdoor activities and expend tremendous energy spreading deadly pestilence throughout the world. They just really, really hate us." Benenson noted that mosquitoes bite a variety of vertebrates besides humans and are especially fond of leaving itchy patches on the skin of baby pandas, koala bears, and very small puppies.

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