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Who's Fucking: Zack and Evan

Coworkers Zack and Evan talk about moving past first impressions, stepping out of your comfort zone, and understanding what it really means to fuck someone.

Overeager Simpleton Destroys That Which He Loves Most

WICHITA, KS—Agonizingly unaware of his own strength and the devastation it might inflict on the innocent, overeager simpleton Rob McCormick tore apart a bag of potato chips Thursday, despite the fact that it was reportedly what he loved most in all the world.

Raccoon Family Tired Of Taking Care Of Rabid Father

MONTGOMERY, WV—Acknowledging that he has become a real burden on their foraging and nesting activities, a local raccoon family told reporters Tuesday that they are starting to get tired of taking care of their rabid father.
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Mother, Daughter Exchange Encoded Menstruation-Related Message Over Dinner Table

SCRANTON, PA–Jodi Eckhardt, 15, and her mother Colleen covertly communicated a top-secret menses-related message across the dinner table Monday, averting the suspicion of the three male Eckhardts seated at the table. "What's wrong, Jodi?" asked Colleen, noticing her daughter's uneaten chimichanga casserole. "Does your stomach hurt this week?" "Yeah," Jodi replied sullenly. "And we're in our swimming unit in gym, too." Colleen excused her daughter from the table and, getting her purse from the counter, produced a bottle of pills, stealthily shielding the label from Marc, 14, and David, 11.

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